For a long time, I thought my turning point would be the moment everything finally worked out.
I thought it would be the positive pregnancy test. The healthy pregnancy. The baby in my arms. The answered prayer after years of waiting. But looking back, my true turning point came before the outcome changed. It came when I realized I could not keep waiting for life to look the way I imagined before I allowed myself to live, lead, heal, and become.
When the Timeline Broke
My book, It’ll Happen By 30, was born from a very real place in my life. Like many women, I had created a timeline in my mind. I thought by 30, certain things would have happened. Marriage. Children. Career success. Stability. The beautiful version of life I had imagined. But infertility has a way of interrupting more than your plans. It interrupts your identity.
For 15 years, I walked through infertility, PCOS, pregnancy and child loss, failed treatments, IVF, and the deep emotional weight of trying to become a mother while still showing up in every other area of my life. I was working, leading, serving, smiling, and performing while privately carrying grief, disappointment, and questions I did not always know how to answer.
There were days I sat in meetings, handled major responsibilities, and led with strength, while inside I was quietly trying to process another failed cycle or another painful reminder that my body was not doing what I desperately wanted it to do.
That kind of pain changes you.
The Moment I Stopped Hiding
My turning point was not one dramatic moment. It was more like a quiet reset.
I reached a place where I realized silence was costing me too much. I had spent so much time trying to be strong that I had not always given myself permission to be honest.
Honest about the grief. Honest about the anger. Honest about the shame. Honest about the way infertility made me question my body, my faith, my womanhood, and my future.
When I finally began to tell the truth, first to myself and then to others, something shifted. I stopped seeing my story as something to hide and began seeing it as something that could help somebody else breathe. That was my turning point. Not because the pain disappeared, but because purpose began to rise from it.
Turning Pain Into Purpose
Eventually, my journal entries became my memoir, It’ll Happen By 30. What started as private pages filled with raw emotion became a book that allowed other women to feel seen. After having delivered my last healthy baby boy (I have 4 in total now), I knew I did not go through this for the last 15 years for no reason. There had to be a way to help even just 1 women with my story. I also founded Angel’s Grace Foundation in honor of my daughter, Angel Grace, and began creating spaces for families navigating pregnancy and infant loss, grief, and maternal wellness. Through my advocacy, coaching, speaking, and community work, I have been able to serve women and families who are carrying pain that many people never see.
Turns out my courageous decision to write the book has resulted in so many women feeling seen, feeling supported, feeling validated on their journey and in their feelings. That matters to me because I know what it feels like to suffer in silence. I know what it feels like to be the strong one. I know what it feels like to keep showing up while breaking inside. And I know that sometimes the most powerful thing we can offer someone is not a perfect answer, but a safe place to be honest.
What I Know Now
I used to believe resilience meant just constantly pushing through. Now I know resilience also means pausing, grieving, asking for help, telling the truth, and choosing to keep becoming even when life has not gone according to plan. I also know that as a faith-filled person, I had to trust and believe that as long as I do my part, everything else would fall into place as it should because it is out of my control.
My journey taught me that a delayed dream does not mean a denied purpose. It taught me that grief and gratitude can exist in the same heart. It taught me that even when life breaks the timeline, it can still build something meaningful from the pieces.
The woman I am today was shaped by the parts of my story I once wished I could erase.
And while I would never minimize the pain of infertility or loss, I can say this: the turning point came when I stopped waiting to be whole “after” the miracle and started reclaiming myself in the middle of the journey.
A Question for You
So, I’ll leave you with this:
What part of your story have you been hiding, surviving, or waiting to make sense of before you give yourself permission to live fully again? Maybe your turning point is not the day everything changes around you. Maybe it is the day something changes within you.
By Dr. Marline C. Duroseau
Bio:
Dr. Marline C. Duroseau is a TEDx speaker, award-winning author, nonprofit CFO, fertility advocate, and resilience expert. She is the author of It’ll Happen By 30, a memoir based on her 15-year infertility journey, and the founder of Angel’s Grace Foundation, which supports maternal wellness, pregnancy and infant loss awareness, and grief healing. Through her speaking, coaching, research, and advocacy, Dr. Marline helps women navigate disruption, reclaim their identity, and rise with purpose. www.mcdbe.com
