LUCKY COUNTRY
Australia has long been termed the lucky country but that isn’t always the case especially when I am involved. A toxic family where Mother routinely hissed I was an unwanted, unloved and very unappreciated surprise, a constant reminder of mistakes she’d rather forget.
Being kicked out of home at 13 plunged me into a very adult world where I was less than prepared to have thrust upon me. For 3 years I was completely lost in the delicate art of survival, peppered with drugs, poverty and abuse. At 16 that all changed when a small community initiative provided me with a little unit all my own, gaining not only safety but the ability to grasp ALL the opportunities.
This intrinsically changed my life’s trajectory and how I learnt my love language – Acts of service
VOLUNTEERING
It wasn’t long before I had secured myself 3 jobs and had joined my first volunteer organisation, St John Ambulance providing care to the community. This was an extension of my fulltime role at the Melbourne training centre. Where I often used my lunchtime on the stretchers for a much-needed power nap.
These previous strangers went out of their way to ensure my little unit felt like home. Volunteers unexpectantly arrived on my doorstep early one Saturday morning, accompanied with a trailer full of mismatched furniture and huge smiles. This was the first time I had experienced a sense of belonging and it WAS transformational.
Perhaps Mother was wrong, maybe I do hold value?
For the next 18 years, my mission was to serve our community within various roles culminating in being a Senior Constable with Queensland Police Service until my fairytale imploded.
MEDICAL FAILURES
Newlywed and with a baby our blended family moved into our forever home excited for the future. If only we had known.
During pregnancy, which was complicated itself, I developed a hernia. This had previously been repaired laparoscopically however my abdominal wall was ripping apart requiring me to be transported to hospital with uncontrollable pain. This would become a regular feature for our little family, this instance was markedly different though.
Surgery was undertaken on my 36th birthday where a routine open hernia repair operation went horrifically wrong. Unaware of what was to follow, I found myself on the phone to the family, who were travelling into the hospital when the room went dark. When I next awoke I was in a hospital bed, racing along bright white corridors surrounded by concerned drawn faces, I locked eyes with my husband. I wasn’t aware of what was happening just that it was bad and that Scott needed support here and now! I vaguely remember telling him in a flash of lucidness to contact his best friend and my father knowing he shouldn’t be alone.
GRIEF AND LONGING
During the hernia repair surgeons had nicked numerous arteries and adhesions causing internal bleeding which went unchecked for hours until I crashed. This wasn’t the first, nor would it be the last time, that I have clinically died. Emergency surgery consisted of my being cut from sternum to groin, granting access for surgeons to assess, diagnose and cease the bleeding.
Due to amazing blood donors, for without them I wouldn’t be here today as I had lost over 2 litres of blood a total of 3.6litres with the wash included. Post operatively I was transferred to the ICU where I remained for the following week attempting to keep my pain at a manageable level.
Weeks, turned into months of recovery yet the pain never ceased, only fluctuated. The language used by medical practitioners subtly yet profoundly changed, from “recovery” to management of chronic pain. It was a shift I wasn’t prepared for and refused to accept, knowing it was a death knell to my career and my identity as a mother, and wife. Life would never be the same.
TOTAL PERMANENT DISABILITY
Which is worse, to have experienced a parent physically and mentally strong and capable and to have lost that? Or to never have experienced a time where disability wasn’t the first thought necessitating the family’s activities and existence? Both requiring adaption to what we now term “Our new normal” including seeing me in excruciating pain on a regular basis.
I grieved, every siren a reminder of what I had lost, and who I would never be again. The mobility aids sat in the corner, beasts I wasn’t prepared to accept although desperately needed. Multiple procedures, surgeries and treatments ensued to enhance my quality of life were mostly unsuccessful and continue today 14 years later.
I was lost in this cycle for years unable or unwilling to accept the loss of purpose and my drive for life.
PASSION & PURPOSE
My mental health deteriorated quickly. I no longer recognised this version of myself and didn’t like her, which gave my inner critic free reign on my psyche. Depression took hold as I counted the opportunities lost and the burden I had become, financially, physically and mentally. We rode that hope roller coaster awaiting a miracle but there was none, often no assistance at all, I was deemed too complex.
As a mum I became cognisant of the disparity with regards to children’s access to developmental tools otherwise known as toys. The fact that 80% of used toys end up in landfill yet 1 in every 6 children is experiencing extreme poverty which make toys a luxury item. I was determined to close this gap and designed a way to do that whilst also fulfilling my love language and giving back – Merry Go Round Toys was born.
RECOGNITION AND OPPORTUNITY
Initially I didn’t know what a social enterprise was. I just saw a problem and wanted to find a way to fix that knowing the social and environmental toll toys were having. It started small at a local car boot sale but then the awards started coming, I realised I had created something special a methodology to use toys as a beacon of community wellbeing and support.
In 2024 I was named a finalist in the Women Changing the World Awards for social enterprise, held in London. Through fundraising I was able to travel with a carer to attend what would become a life changing journey, not just physically but psychologically as I had again found a modicum of self worth.
Through this marvellous community I felt valued, appreciated and worthy. Concepts foreign to me throughout my childhood I now welcomed with open arms. I was approached to share my story of resilience and self-renewal in a compilation of women’s stories from around the world titled Women Living Fearlessly.
Between the covers we found our tribe of passionate women refusing to allow fear to dictate their hopes or dreams. Many like myself have had to reinvent themselves, rising phoenix like from the ashes of their former selves to stand tall fearlessly embracing the future.
By Bethany Chambers
Author Bio
Bethany is a social entrepreneur who designed a unique social enterprise after becoming permanently disabled and being medically retired from Queensland Police Service. Merry Go Round Toys was born in April 2023 and is based on a circular economy with a twist. Selling quality children’s toys on a consignment basis for families, professionals and childcare centres, addressing the issue of affordability and toys becoming a luxury item.
Through social entrepreneurship Bethany has been recognised with a variety of local, National and Global awards. Bethany is a passionate advocate for community enhancement and speaker regaling her resilience and innovative business. She is a published best selling author and subject matter expert on thriving through toys.
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